HOW DOES ONE BECOME ANTI-SOCIAL AND DESTRUCTIVE TO SELF AND OTHERS? EVEN TO THE POINT OF DEATH?
I have long been fascinated by culture. Here is some of my story. What kind of childhood did you have? How much time did your parents help you learn?
Perhaps my fascination arose because I grew up in what I will call a perverse family.
And though I can give you all the genetic illnesses found in addiction and brutality, as I now know, there are genetic markers that mean little when awareness and a willingness to look are lacking, when blood and belittling are the way of the family culture.
My MD dad, a first-generation immigrant, was forced to go to college, and though he was kind and charming during the day to patients at night, he often beat mom or the kids bloody. Early on, I KNEW something was wrong, so I immersed myself in books and studies. Even then, while practicing piano, my Father hit me to the point of a lump when my practicing did not suit HIM. I wish he had become a gardener, but I might not have the passion I have for botany and natural health. So I now forgive my Father.
All learning, including formal education, can be considered a form of initiation to me—my chance to peek into the worlds of perhaps oppressors. (I once helped Latinas win a debate by pointing this out.)
If lucky, as I eventually was, we find schools and teachers and mentors where reflection and critical thinking with others is the focus. I attended five different colleges finding my way. Most were sanctuaries. Some were hell, and I left quickly.
I paid for all my education with loans, grants, and scholarships. I even fed my artist ex-husband. I received no family help. Many fault women like me for a high level of academics.
The US is notoriously anti-intellectual and poorly educated. There are statistics and evidence. College was my escape, and women, especially those like me of immigrant roots, I now know, significantly benefit from leaving the family system and joining learning communities. I am currently devoted to learning in the community.
I have mentored 42k online and advised many to go to trade school to become a master.
I am highly trained, formally. And I now have LIVED experience—college and knowing unique information can be an oasis for an abused woman, a sanctuary. I was astounded classmates were kind even as I discovered profs who were authoritarian and cheated.
We find ourselves today invaded by perversity. I shelter and live in a community, and I am very selective about associations and so-called friends. Online, no one is safe. I feel TRUST's erosion has deeply damaged our culture. Freedom is not free. Creating a stable civil society requires civility, dignity, respect, and empathy.
Feeling unwanted and unloved as a child, I am now profoundly compassionate for all. I can be naive. I find I cannot afford that anymore.
The video above I found to be an excellent discussion of the PROUD BOYS and their ongoing threat, primarily via trolling online.
ISOLATION AND PANDEMIC
Stuck as we all were, many learned online gaming, which has benefits. I am a big fan of Jane McGonigal, an early girl gamer. She has a lot of evidence of enormous gaming events and their benefits, especially in cooperation in her dissertation, SuperBetter: The Power of Living Gamefully.
In the early days of gaming, before the isolation of the pandemic, there were non-violent games, and war games played in good sport. I have known young men to go on to make good livings managing online gaming. I wonder how he is doing now.
ENTER STEVE BANNON
Bannon is an open anarchist who seeks wealth and does not care who he serves and who saw a gold mine in lonely men gaming online. Read here how Bannon Mined “Intense Young Men” from Gaming to the White House.
WE BEGIN TO LEARN HOW THIS ALL HAPPENED
I hope my history and some of our mutual history have helped create a context for this newsletter.
I find the video from CNN posted above to be exciting and vital. This video emerged from the work of a YOUNG WOMAN.
As I hope I have shown, we have a real crisis with men, especially young ones. Young women, too, and yet if we are wise, we get out. YOUNG MEN need to wake up. While wealthy boys head to college and even become Supreme Court Justices, those from poverty may not even think there may be ways for them via unions and trade schools—online and face to face. I currently have one friend, a grocer bagger, who is close to getting his second computer certificate. He plans to leave the grocery soon. He did it all on his own, online. He has a future with potential.
Currently, I get trolled a lot, and as a counselor, I find most men are emotionally immature, which is what narcissism is all about: stunted growth and an unwillingness to learn regarding being able to engage with grace, respect, and dignity.
I find solace in my meditation groups, especially our live events. Just yesterday, I found myself touched by the number of males participating. I don't doubt they are trolling, yet they are learning loving kindness, not brutality—a ray of hope for me.
I find this video essential and full of potential. Learn to love learning. Choose success over death, please.